Former English leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the minute," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is certainly a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his immediate health, his family and making preparations for when the condition progresses.
"Maybe that's trauma or possibly I process things differently, and once I have the details, it's easier," he stated further.
Early Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after observing some reduced power in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the issue, a set of scans indicated nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely affected about it, but it's quite odd because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't feel sick. I don't experience sick
"My indications are very minor. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I remain capable of performing all activities. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Illness Advancement
MND can progress rapidly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a third of people within a 365 days and more than half within two years of diagnosis, as swallowing and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only slow deterioration.
"It's not me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"There's grief around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Effect
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he mentioned informing his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was quite devastating," Moody said.
"We sat on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and began licking the drops off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody explained the emphasis was staying in the present.
"There is no treatment and that is why you have to be so militantly focused on just accepting and appreciating everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been really blessed that the only real decision I made when I left playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We don't get those years back."
Sportsman Link
Top-level competitors are unevenly impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the incidence of the illness is up to sixfold greater than in the wider community.
It is believed that by restricting the oxygen accessible and producing damage to neural pathways, frequent, strenuous physical activity can initiate the disease in those inherently vulnerable.
Athletic Career
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his fearless, unwavering method to the game.
He competed through a fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a practice altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a practice gear and commenced throwing himself into physical contacts.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the set piece in the decisive passage of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop-goal.
Backing Network
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a few other former colleagues about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the present, just having that kind of affection and acceptance that people are available is all that matters," he stated.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to label your love your career, it's one of the most significant blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a time with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will want to support in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
